Mama Who Bore Me
by Star Sheep
Summary: SPOILERS: DH! Tonks has to tell her mama everything thats happened between her and Remus Lupin and how her future is set before her.


Mama Who Bore me… song from Spring awakening. Don't own.

I haven't finished DH…so don't bark at me if something's off. But I got inspired and had to write this!!

I don't' own Harry potter or anything to do with the musical "spring Awakening."

This WILL be a one shot unless advised otherwise. Think it should continue? Let me know!

PLEASE REVIEW!

No bashing please! Thank you!

SPOILERS RIGHT HERE DON'T READ IF U HAVEN"T READ DH OR IF U JUST DON'T CARE.

I don't know if remus's and tonk's baby int eh book is a werewolf but for sake in here the baby is ok????

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Full Summery: SPOILERS! DH never goes into how Tonks told her parents everything. Lupin said her parents were ashamed. How could she have told her mother? How could she have found the courage? What was going through her head what did she say and how did she feel?

**Mama Who Bore Me **

**Tonk's Point of View **

War. Anger. Hate. Misery. Pain. Death. Yet here I stand at the garden of my home waiting to enter…. With life. Huh, it seems almost inappropriate doesn't it? I smirk to myself as I hear rustling sounds of small harmless creatures moving through my parents land.

It was dark. The blackness filled everything in my sight and I struggled slightly to see. But the bright glimmering stars above made it easier. So did the full moon.

My heart felt like it stopped and my breath hitched it my throat. My lower abdomen gave a sudden twinge and I shut my eyes to ignore my discomfort as the full moon rose high in the sky.

I breathed deeply and looked at my wedding ring to ignore the stabs of pain I was feeling.

I was married…. I was a wife. A wife to an amazing man and smart skilled wizard. And a werewolf.

Blast that will make things complicated! I don't care, in fact I love that characteristic about my husband. It still seems strange, yet I smile every time I remember that Remus John Lupin is my husband.

And the father of our child…..

I swear I could hear a long mournful howl in the distance but I think my mind is playing tricks on me. But maybe not. I made a promise to myself then and there that he would never hear of the pain I felt from our child on a full moon.

I could only assume the pain in me would get worse and worse as time went by and our baby grew. I wondered if anything like this had ever happened before…. A non-werewolf woman carrying a werewolf's child…..and the pain felt at the full moon by the mother when the child is a werewolf. Merlin I couldn't tell Remus. Not yet. I'm strangely tired and have been traveling non stop for the Order, and now for personal reasons.

I was going to tell my parents…. I was going to tell my mum…. My mama. I had to tell my mama that I was to be a mama.

How do you do that exactly? I mean is there a rulebook or an instruction manual or guide?

Nope.

Darn.

How was I going to tell my mama that my baby could be a werewolf?

Merlin!

The guilt swept through me. Here I was worrying about talking to my mum when my friends are fighting a war. A war that I am a solider in.

A cold breeze started and I whipped the stray tear that had fallen and walked into the house.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Greetings were short yet loving yet fearful. My parents think this could be the last time they greet their little girl. But I'm not a little girl anymore, I remind myself.

I sat down with them in the living room. I said no to the fine Goblin Wine my father offered me, which shocked them both, since they knew I enjoyed a glass now and then. Dad asked if I was sure and I firmly almost angrily said

"Yes, father I am sure." He nodded and made me warm tea.

It was delicious. It warmed my bones and my cold body. I ate some food they gave me; I hadn't eating in awhile. I thought that might explain how weak I had been feeling. I ate well, but when I was done, I felt like I hadn't eaten a thing. But another part of me was well reassured and healthy.

My mother asked why I had come.

I think I stopped breathing.

I looked up at a picture on the wall. Of her holding my when I was an infant. I shut my eyes so I wouldn't cry as I opened my mouth to speak.

_**Mama who bore me.  
Mama who gave me**_

Tears weren't coming to my eyes because I was sad. No, in fact I was happy. Just weak and tired, and frightened of there reaction. My emotions were high and I could feel my soul in torment.

_**No way to handle things.  
Who made me so sad.**_

I told her I was married.

Rejoice. I was hugged and kissed and for a moment we all smiled as I showed my mum my small diamond ring.

Then anger of them not knowing set in.

All I could say my sorry.

They asked me who it was.

"Remus Lupin." I said softly.

They know who he is…. What he is….what my husband is. Worry, fear, anger and deep regret. I see this all as I watched my mother crumble.

_**Mama, the weeping.  
Mama, the angels.  
No sleep in Heaven or Bethlehem.**_

Then my mother spoke.

"You can't get married now! What if something happens to him? You're setting yourself up for hurt and pain Nymphandora!"

"Don't call me Nymphandora mother!" I answered back. "It's a risk we're willing to take. If not now then when? Yes what if something happened to one of us and…. And this never happened?"

"You're fighting in a war!"

"SO IS HE! You're trying to fight because of what he is!"

"He could hurt you Nymphie!" I cringed my mum hadn't called me that since I was a child.

"He would never hurt me. And don't call me that. I'm not a child."

"Well you're acting like one!" My mother said to me. My father stayed quiet.

"Mum," I said, almost begging her to listen to me. "You sound like there's no hope! There's hope mum there is! It will all be over soon….one way or another."

_**Some pray that, one day,**_

_**Christ will come a'-callin'.  
They light a candle, **_

_**And hope that it glows.**_

"Okay, yes, say something happens to me or Remus. One of dies or…" I shuddered, hardly believing that I was saying this. "Or both of us die. There are fates worse then death mum, other things I fear. I'd rather die then suffer what I know others have suffered.

Mum people have been tortured by Voldemort, begging for death. I will never do that, I can't do that. I will not beg for death mum! I'd simply rather die, if I had a choice between two fates."

I couldn't believe I was saying this. Right now…. I had so much to live for.

I didn't want to die….

"Mum, he comes for people. Hunts them, hurts them. I don't want to be one of them. I won't be one of them. Remus and I have now. A 'now' without him in our minds. And I'll take that over loneliness. I love him. And I'm in a cause I believe in strongly. I am married, and I will keep fighting Voldemort."

_**And some just lie there,**_

_**Crying for him to come and find them.  
But when he comes,**_

_**They don't know how to go...**_

"Mum right now I really truly have something worth fighting for."

I shut my eyes after I looked at the picture. I touched my lower abdomen gently and it was like memories flashed before my eyes as I parted my lips to tell my parents.

I saw our small wedding. I was in a dress, but not a long white thing. Remus had looked tired as always but happy yet sad at the same time. I couldn't rub the smile off my face.

That same smile on my face then appeared now.

"Mum….I'm pregnant. Remus and I…."

My mother wouldn't let me finish the sentence before she lost it again. Screaming at me. I only heard bits and pieces as my mind when back through my memories, trying to ignore her.

"How could you be so selfish! A baby when you're fighting…….. a werewolf…… half-breed……disgrace…… you're happiness at stake….. money…….you're health…….. pain……..disgrace……."

That was all I heard. My own mother yelling at me for wanting to be a mother, and for getting married so young.

Yelling at be for the fact that my child could be a werewolf, and I know my baby is a werewolf….because I married a werewolf.

_**Mama who bore me.  
Mama who gave me  
No way to handle things.  
Who made me so bad.**_

It would have hurt me to bad to listen. Bits and pieces filled my mind as my visions flashed to after our wedding, our short and un-privet honeymoon and Grimwald place, and the few weeks after when I was the happiest I had been my whole life.

I shut my eyes and remembered him. My husband…Remus. It was like I could feel his eyes staring down directly into mine, as his hand touched my cheek gently.

Hardly a touch. Just enough.

I remembered it all. Everything. That night I got pregnant with his…our child.

The simple truth of the matter made me smile and I finally opened my eyes and looked at my mother.

She could be furious I didn't care. My father still said nothing. I had expected this.

Had it been much different when my mother's cursed family found out she was marrying a Muggle Born?

Was there much difference?

I couldn't see it but in her mind she did. She finally turned and walked away, out of the brightly lit living room. I sighed heavily. And saw it was sunrise.

I kissed my dads cheek and hugged him, grateful he hadn't said anything.

With a final look of the house I left.

I walked out into the haze of morning and the sunrise. I smiled brightly, not able to help it. I half skipped through the tall grasses and I lay down in the grass to watch the sun rise.

I felt a stirring feeling and I could tell the small life inside my was changing back. The pain made my eyes flinch for a moment as I tried to calm my child in me.

I tried to take the pain away and I was able to, and I knew my child felt nothing as I suffered momentarily. I groaned when I realized that the pain would become greater as time when on.

A hand touched my shoulder after several minutes and I grabbed for my wand until I felt my husband's lips touch mine and he held me gently in his arms that were normally strong but were tired and weak from the transformation.

The kiss was long and he made it linger as he brought me closer to him. I sank into his arms and kissed him back with all I felt. From him though…. I could feel…. Regret.

When I felt it I poured back hurt in my kiss, told him without speaking everything my mother had said to me, how she had made me feel. He touched me gently, sadness and apology and his guilt touching my lips.

The sun rose higher above us and I could feel it on my back. I broke our sad but loving kiss. And helped him up, knowing how weak he was. I saw his tattered robes he was wearing.

"Come on…let's go back to Grimwald place…. You need to get straightened up." I said ignoring my emotional pain I felt from everything trying to seem fine. "Besides…. We have a war to win."

I had to be strong I was a wife and a mother. I smiled to myself gently as we headed home to what the future would bring.

_**Mama, the weeping.  
Mama, the angels.  
No sleep in Heaven or Bethlehem.**_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOX

Hoped you liked it! Please review! Should I continue????? Let me know and happy reading!

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